Everyone around me is fit. I am not fit. I like to take photos and I like to sit on the couch and uncover what I've shot. I worked hard for several years when my husband was sick and now I'm not lazy, per se, but... well, conservative of my energy. As I progress with the photography I want to be able to go everywhere and photograph everything; now i have to get in shape.

So this leads to my post from yesterday on Facebook,  "Having a Green Detox smootie. Spinach, greek yogurt, banana, orange juice and pears with skin on it...".  My healthy friends posted things like "yummy" and "awesome" and "I love those". My fun friends who don't go outside much and make me happy posted, "hork" and "why?" and by bestest friends texted or posted "What the **** are you thinking?!?! Don't drink that thing! Do you know what is going to happen"? Put down the glass *****!"  

I drank two.

At around 6pm I posted "OMG. Reporting. Detox takes 6 hours" or something like that... I was wrong. I've figured out that was everything in my body, not associated with the detox, fleeing from what's to come. I realized what my best friends knew. As a 40-year-old-woman who doesn't ever eat 4 servings of spinach and pear peels every day, my body was going to be angered by this move-to-health-in-one-day approach. At 40, your body can be as in control of you as you are of it... even more in control than you. And earlier I figured out what my body was up to (as my abdomen cramped and complained). It is going to wait until 6pm. It is going to wait until I am away from home for 3 hours. It is going to wait until the most inconvenient and embarrassing option comes along and teach me a lesson for what I've done. And I'll never drink a Green Detox Smoothie again. And I'll learn my body is in control. And I'll wander into my 40s wondering what is going to crap out on me next. And hopefully laugh.

So that's it. That's the story behind the green shake and I hope my public admission of this will convince my body I am wholly apologetic and I will never try anything like that again and I will ease into health and no more surprises. 

And in good news, I was able to drink some water this morning without shuddering so there's that